Thursday, December 25, 2014

A very Krampus Christmas!

Krampus left my family a note under the tree this Christmas!

Dear Eschbacher Family,

Merry Christmas from Santa’s helper! I can’t believe that this year is almost over. It feels like only yesterday that I was stuffing last year’s naughty little brats in my bag and carrying them off to be tortured in my lair (Ah…memories!). Yes, I cannot tell you how sad I was that no one in your home was bad enough to come home with me. It really is a shame that you all got presents this year but what can ya do? Sometimes I think that there are just too many good people in the world especially on Christmas. It is, I must admit, a very depressing thought. Families like yours make demons like me feel unimportant. After all, what is the point of having an executioner if there are no longer criminals deserving of an execution? Sure I still found some naughty people that I stuffed into my bag this year but what if everyone in the world started following your families example? That would be terrible for me! That’s why this year I decided that I am going to try and actually give presents to the nice people along with Saint Nick as well as punish the bad people. That way if more families such as yours do start popping up I will not be entirely out of the job. Since this was sort of a “last minute idea” I sent out one of my secret helpers to go get the presents I planned to give you guys. I hope that you like them, and I wish you all a very Merry Krampus Christmas!

                                                                  Your friend,

Monday, November 3, 2014

Monday, October 13, 2014

SNL: Group Hopper

All the best (or worst) YA cliches jammed into one epically fake movie trailer...

Sunday, October 12, 2014


A couple of weeks ago I wrote a poem for my science fiction class that I'd thought that I'd share on here. :)

There in my mind exists such a place,
Where every bit of light is gone without a trace,
And a thing that I do not wish to see,
Begins to move about up above me,
Its legs are long striped and total six,
I always wish that I possessed a crucifix,
It descends its nest only when I am near,
And moves in a way that is quite queer,
It speaks to me in its horrid raspy voice,
It knows that I am not here by choice,
The creature whispers tales in my ear,
Each one of them about you my dear,
I know deep down that they are not true,
But I am not sure what else I can do,
My evil jealousy has only grown of you,
And I find that as the creature goes on,
My love for you will soon be gone.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

My story

Today I thought I'd post some of my story that I talked about in an earlier blog post. If anyone notice any small grammatical errors or if anyone comes up with ways they feel it can be improved please feel free to comment. :) 

There are many horrid things in the world that we know. The stench of human greed, the vileness of cruelty can be found everywhere on this earth. Some places are so filled with the plague of human evil that one could not think of a place worse than those pits with which evil seems to have made itself at home.
But there is a place.
A place so covered in darkness, so lost in hope that even the vilest of creatures would look away from it in fear. This place does not exist on earth, it never could. It lies somewhere far away. It is a place that cannot be walked to on foot nor sailed to by boat. This place lies in a dark depth where no sun shines. Its inhabitants burn in an unnatural and everlasting fire. The worse part of this place is the screams, and what more they are the screams of the damned. Of the once proud men, of the once lustful women, and of the once most crafty demons. They were the children who did not believe in the fables taught to them which contained such seemingly simple Morales. Do not steal, do not kill, and respect ones mother and father, and so on.  Yet as they burn they are as willing as the thief who bit at his mother’s ear to take the blame away from themselves and to other persons. They blame mostly the one that loves them most, the one that gave them the gift of free will to do as they choose which they could not help but abuse.
God grants free will to men because he believes that they are capable of doing good. They are able to help one another through the roughest of times and have courage and hope in their hearts when there seems to be none. They are able to love. But there is no flame that does not cast a shadow. Where there is peace there is also war and where there is good there is also evil. The human spirit is the very definition of the battle between light and darkness. The inhabitants of this awful place have lost the battle to darkness and have lost their free will, a gift that they had shamelessly abused in life. They have lost everything and have nothing left but the darkness that they coveted in life. This is the place in which no form of evil can escape from. This is the place where the screams never die and where God’s children are burned and face ultimate judgment for their crimes. This is hell.
The one who rules over this pitiful land has explored every form of human evil in existence. He has lied, he has cheated, he has killed. He is Satan, prince of darkness and father of lies. Once an angel of high ranking he sought to over throw his very creator. With his band of usurper angels, Satan felt sure he could win. But in the end he failed, and was one of the first to be plunged into the very darkness of his forsaken kingdom. No one is quite sure why Satan rebelled.  It may have been that he felt himself above the influence of any form of human weakness. He felt that God was too soft with his creations and that the human race should be kept on a tighter leash. Satan wanted power, he wanted to be in charge and he believed that he could succeed God. He did not want to be overshadowed by the human race, he wanted to rule it. Even now in his kingdom he sits above the horrid pit in an enormous black castle which looks as it could pierce the heavens. It sits above a giant town filled with the very demons Lucifer has created. Every day they work within the walls, they work for some forgotten cause and mingle and toil through their meaningless lives. The city is surrounded by a giant black wall and beyond that is a barren waste land and then the pit where evil men squirm under Satan’s oppressive thumb which he wishes to press not only on the wicked and evil but on the pure and goodhearted.
There in his castle he sits even now, plotting and thinking of a way out of his prison and what better way to get out of a prison but a make a key. A key to unlock Hell’s gate…

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Writing Update

I finished book one of my novel series and I have to say I am pretty happy with it. There is still a lot more to go but I feel like I've made some real progress. I am not going to start working on book two until I have gotten some great feedback from some of my beta readers who are nice enough to spend some of their valuable time editing my story. I hope I'm able to improve the story more and more until I am completely satisfied with the final product. For now I think that I am going to focus on writing some short stories that I have lined up.

Monday, August 4, 2014


Him from Powerpuffgirls
      Today I went to the library and got a bunch of new books that I had never read before. I decided to become a more active reader because I heard that reading different kinds of books helps you to become a more interesting writer. Right now I am writing a novel about demons and other hell related stuff so a lot of what I'm reading has to do with the devil. I try to switch off from heavy material to lighter reading material when I read a lot of books but what I am writing about demands that I read a lot of heavier stuff. Each writer who writes about the devil seems to have their own interpretation of him which I find very interesting. The devil is definitely a very obvious choice for a villain, but unfortunately I find that does not make him an easy villain to write for. It's difficult to give your own original interpretation to a character that's been done a million times. I definitely have my work cut out for me with this novel I'm doing but hopefully the final product will make it all worth it in the end.